Schoolchildren, says the Department for Children, Schools and Families, should be able to question teachers applying for jobs.
Ministers believe children should have a say in the running of a school.
Suddenly it may be important for teachers to get on the right side of pupils and not the other way around.
Well oiled, this column sprang into action, and is able to bring you some of the questions being asked:
Do you have a relaxed and mature attitude towards attendance, similar to the pupils, or are you one of those sad obsessives who likes lots of ticks in the register?
It’s raining and cold and it is also PE. Do you: a) make us do cross country anyway, or b) keep us in the warm gym for basketball?
What would your attitude be on a Thursday morning, the day after live Champions League football on the telly when naturally some pupils are late for registration?
Chemistry: Are you happy with multiple choice answers, or are you going to ask us to learn all those stupid symbols?
My dog will eat my homework at least once a term. Am I to be punished for this?
Are you the kind of professional who respects teacher-pupil confidentiality or will you tell my parents when I am not in school?
Maths: What value do you place, say, on us knowing the sum of all the angles in a pentagon and how an isosceles triangle differs from a British triangle, compared to being able to work out how much flesh is revealed by the average crop top and mini skirt?
Biology: Will you show us the film or not?
Are you the kind of English teacher who sets importance by the greatest literary figures the country has ever produced, such as Shakespeare and Chaucer, and the timeless brilliance of their work, or are you going to give us books we understand?
Spellcheckers and calculators. There’s no need to learn English and maths, right?
Our country has a long and proud history and we want to learn about it. About the history of medicine, transport, education and industry, but mostly we want to learn how we beat the Germans. Do you agree?
Languages: Will there be a school trip this year to France or Spain? Will there? Will there? Will there?
We are all concerned about global warming and to reduce our carbon footprint more of us are rejecting the family car to walk or catch the bus to school instead. Will you be doing the same? Why not?
Please explain your attitude. We prefer to call them teaching aids, some teachers call it cheating.
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