You cannot take early flowers and sunshine as evidence of Armageddon
Spring is early again. I know because the newspapers tell me and because, well, I saw two ducks, you know, at it, the other day.
It may be nature but it is not romantic. It’s a wonder she didn’t drown.
Other ducks were milling about as ducks do and you wonder what they thought of it all.
Daffodils have been flowering for months, hedges are in bud, the sun is shining, there are gnats in the air and it is all the fault of global warming.
All the more reason why we should do something about it, apparently, though I am inclined to believe if nature seems to be in chaos it is because it wants to be and there’s very little I can do to help.
Besides, you cannot take early flowers and sunshine as evidence of Armageddon no matter how you try. They’re so nice.
But that doesn’t stop the Greens banging on about it, like tulips are portents of doom and being able to go without a pullover condemns us for not doing enough to combat climate change.
Yeah, like we care, right now. It is hard linking life’s little pleasant surprises with the end of the world.
But they do insist on pointing out these things as if aliens have landed and we should consider running for the hills. For pretty soon we are discussing London sinking beneath the floods and half the population dying of heatstroke.
“But it’s only a sodding tulip.”
“Never you mind, it’s only a tulip, we are all going to die unless we change our ways. My God, look at those ducks! That’ll teach you not to keep the telly on standby.”
If the leaves on the trees and bushes are emerging before we say they are due then it’s their business.
The Arctic melting is much more convincing evidence that something is going on and perhaps we are causing it.
If so, it’s because there are too many people in the world and that is the real problem, though I am not volunteering to reduce the number by one just yet.
See? See how this subject gets you? I started off telling of an amorous duck and a few hundred words later I’m going on about over-population.
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