Setting the scene

When my sports-mad hubby asks: “Remember the night of the Rugby World Cup final in 2007…?” I’ll be able to reply: “Yes, yes, yes,” without lying.

That night, my friend Sam suggested to me that we write a comedy drama series for TV and I agreed.

When my sports-mad hubby asks: “Remember the night of the Rugby World Cup final in 2007…?” I’ll be able to reply: “Yes, yes, yes,” without lying.
That night, my friend Sam suggested to me that we write a comedy drama series for TV and I agreed.
That was before half term. During half term she travelled south to take in some sea air while I obsessed about her suggestion. Did she really mean it? What shall we write about? Will it be good enough? Even if it’s good enough, how do we get it on telly?
I went online and bought two books: Writing TV scripts: Successful Writing in 10 weeks and How to Write for Television: A Guide to Writing and Selling Successful TV Scripts – both from Amazon; I’ve borrowed one of those mini tape recorders so I can walk around the house and note down ideas as I go (the machine didn’t come with tapes unfortunately, but since my mind has stayed resolutely blank I suppose it doesn’t matter too much); and I’ve downloaded six sample scripts from www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom.
Then I ‘phoned Sam after she got back from her break and, like a stream of consciousness, she spewed up about half a series while I scribbled furiously at the other end of the line.
“How the hell did you think of all this?” I ask, trying to dot the ‘I’s and cross the ‘t’s as she’s speaking.
“Oh, you know,” she says, airily. “I’m not from round here.”
I nod at the non-sequitur as if I understand and carry on like the amanuensis/muse/fast writer that I am.
God this is good!
I picture ‘At Home with the Braithwaite’s’ – only better - and with the very topical subject of immigration running through it like a silken thread: strong and unbreakable but capable of being spun into something very pretty and very useful indeed…
I hear Sam flip open her diary. “Next Wednesday any good for our next session?” she asks. “We need to discuss the character of the husband in more depth. I can’t decide if he should be slightly autistic or simply a buffoon.”
I splutter into my coffee. “I don’t think he should be a buffoon,” I say, not sure why I’m so sure.
After two hours of character analysis (a natural talent in many women) we feel we’ve nailed the characters of wife, au pair, mother-in-law and mysterious love interest. We could tell you where they were born, the colour of their hair, how tall they are and where they buy their clothes.
“How many kids have they got?” I ask.
“Dunno – let’s decide on Wednesday,” says Sam, giving me just enough hook to ensure I have sleepless nights for the next week – I just won’t be able to decide if they should have two or three children…
Of course, Sam will have decided exactly how many by next Wednesday - as well as their ages, heights, the number and extent of their after-school activities and whether they’re going to leave home at the age of 16.
Good job I’m a fast writer.

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